On Fools

No one does April Fool's tricks anymore.

I hereby propose we move the holiday, in order to better catch folk unawares, to the new time zone change days. I always forget about em, and so does my dinosaur computer.

On Shoes

You know there's a certain time frame where your favorite pair of sneakers start to smell of sewer gas?

I think I need new shoes.

On banks.

I find it oddly ironic and disgusting that a banking institute that made it's living off fucking people over when they couldn't pay their bills was saved by our tax money when they couldn't pay their bills.

Yes, I know all the benefits of this. Yes, I'm fine with it bandaging the economy for the moment. It's still fucking disgusting that they got bailed out by the same people who's lives they've ruined forever, against said people's wills.

Did I mention this company was THE REASON we're having such an economic collapse? It's cool though. No matter how far this country falls into the shitpile, the bigwigs over there made more money then you could count if you hired a whole sweatshop of kids to count it.

And they didn't lose a penny of it.

On Comics

New content at TYL.

Someone buy prints so I can eat this week. :)

On smoking, or fond memories.

You've made it a full day without a cigarette. It was suprisingly easy. A little temptation, but nothing too bad. You think, "Hey! I can quit, this is a cakewalk."

You've made it two days without a cigarette. The physical withdrawal kicks in. You're telling yourself how proud you are to be fighting off these newfound ubercravings. Everyone around you smokes, and offers you a cigarette, figuring you're out. You kindly decline, wanting to punch yourself in the gut.

You've made it three days without a cigarette. All your friends are over. They're smoking. That one that doesn't smoke? They have a cigar. You're drinking heavily. You figure now that your lungs are getting cleaner it's time to fuck over that liver of yours. Maybe you can drink the cravings away. At drink number four, you realize how nice it was to drink and smoke at the same time. Numbly staring into space, the whole party passes you by, occasionally coming to to reassure friends that, yes, you are fine.

You've made it four days without a cigarette and you're not sure whether this was worth it. what the hell were you thiniking? you LOVE to smoke. Where's the fucking cigarettes. I want a god damn cigarette god damn it fuck fuck fuck FUCKING SHIT. You're shaking, your heart is racing with adrenaline, but it's not pleasent energy. No, it's pumping sheer superhuman rage through you, giving you the ability to rip someone's head off through sheer willpower.

You've somehow made it five days without a cigarette. The physical cravings are gone. Which would be great, but the emotional cravings have taken it up a notch. You miss the physical cravings. Your body acting stupid gave you extra willpower to fight this damn battle. Well, guess what? Willpower and emotional cravings share the same place in your brain. You're tempted hard. someone left a pack open on the table. You reach down and smell the menthol, just to smell it. Mmmm... Maybe no one would notice if you... Fuck. Someone's coming. Maybe they have cigarettes?

You've made it six days without cigarettes. You decide to blog about it, since, hell, you can't focus your mind to get anything else done.

On Politics and Religion at the dinner table.

There's a good reason one should never talk about religion or politics, ever.

It does not matter how kind you are.
It does not matter how sensitive towards other's feelings or cultures or fetishes you are.
I don't care if you tell them what they want to hear when they want to hear it.
I don't care if you read both sides of the story and interpret every piece of statistical or irrational data before making a decision.
Crunching numbers will never affect it.
Near death experiences won't change it.
Not taking your Lithium, hmm.. well, that might have a slight effect.

The bottom line with religion and politics is that the moment you choose a side, every other side is automatically wrong.

Now, in politics this does not apply so much, for the sheer reason that you can compromise. You can say "If you let me kill babies, I'll let you kill prisoners." Everyone's happy! For now, I'm going to let politics off the hook.

You cannot be Christian and think Islam is ok. You can't be Atheist and tell the Wiccans you don't think there spells are stupid. Buddha may respect all, but he still thinks your creation myths are full of bullshit. And Agnostics? You may as well tell people you're bisexual. I mean, seriously. Make up your mind already, you look silly.

By accepting (or not accepting) faith of any religion into your life, you have to say that the others are wrong. There is no compromise, it's all or nothing.

So stop talking about it already!

You're never going to convert the Atheists out there with your pamphlets, and no matter how many times you say "Darwin" the Mormons aren't going to scratch their heads and tell you you have a point, there. Only people who love Jesus care if Jesus loves you. And you'll never convince anyone without a light saber that becoming a Jedi is the true path.

When you fill your head with glee at making fun of that Christian for his beliefs, know he's laughing at you cause you're going to burn in hell. In my opinion you're both assholes.